It's That Time of Year...

...Sick Season

I am trying to keep our schedule as much as possible, while knowing that everything may change with a quick call from a school nurse.  I hope you all are surviving the season!

Street Safety

I work in a great neighborhood, dead end street where nearly every family has children.  The kids are outside all the time, and I can stand outside if Tinkerbell is napping, and watch Bill Nye get to any house on the street.  Bill Nye's school is a few streets over, so we walk to school too.  And we have to cross a few streets.  In a neighborhood where all cars drive extra slow to account for the "child chasing a ball,"  how do I teach them how to cross safely?  There have been lots of grabbing of hands/arms and yelling "stop!" but they (especially Bill Nye) just don't seem to understand.  When we travel out of the neighborhood, like while going to the grocery store or tennis classes, we have to walk through busy parking lots.  This is when he likes to pull away the most, and of course scares me the most in the process.

Besides using scare tactics, and becoming very stern when they do not listen, does anyone have any ideas for getting past this?  For teaching safe behaviors?

Religion

In life, religion is a tense topic to discuss.  I know what I believe in, but I certainly don't think everyone needs (or should) believe the same way I do.

With that being said, after my family got back from a trip to Italy, Tinkerbell started talking about God.  That first day I responded to her comments with "okay"s, "yes"'s and other one word answers.  This is because I didn't know how Mom & Dad wanted me to proceed.  I talked to Dad when he got home that night and the decision that was made was it is okay to talk to and listen to what the children say, but in no way to say it is the only way or that they are right and wrong.  Basically, take an educational stance on it.

Last week, we were driving to meet friends on Veterans Day, and Bill Nye told me "I don't believe in God.  I believe in the Big Bang Theory."  He is such a literal person that in my head my response was "No shit." But I asked him why, and he told me about the books he read and how it's different from what he's heard about the Bible stories.  I went on to explain how many people can believe in multiple versions of creation since no one alive was actually there, and that believing in something is about what makes you comfortable.  I made sure to tell him that I love to know what he believes in, but to make sure that when he talks to people he doesn't tell them that his belief, and what he believes in is what is right.  He is very smart, so this is definitely a concern (and not just for religious beliefs) since he thinks he is always right.

I have a few questions about this.  Is there anyone else out there who has had this discussion with children they take care of?  Are the parents supportive and do your beliefs interfere/differ from the families?  If they do, how do you respect all views?

Biting Incident

A few weeks ago, we were getting ready to go to Bill Nye's woodworking class, when he came downstairs and said, "Tinkerbell bit me."  I asked him what he did after, and if she stopped when he asked her.  She did, so we went to woodworking, and I didn't mention it again in front of Bill Nye.  When we got back in the car though: I turned off the radio; I told her she better not interrupt and I started talking about her biting Bill Nye.  I try not to raise my voice to the children, but I did a little bit and I became very stern.  So stern that she cried.  She doesn't usually cry unless she is physically hurt or is trying to get attention (and I know she didn't want any more of my attention).  I asked her why she did it.  Would she like it if someone bit her?  Next time you talk to me or another adult before you decide to bite.  But I am worried.  There is no history (that I know of) of her biting, and I hope there is no future.  However, I have noticed that she definitely has trouble expressing her anger and it usually comes out in stomping feet, hitting or screaming.

I sent the mother a message, and talked to the father when he got home.  Before this, I told Tinkerbell that her parents might be just as angry as I was.  The father was shocked by this news, but I don't know if they talked to her even more.  It had been addressed and when I asked her "What did you learn today?" She told me and her father that she's not allowed to ever bite anyone again.  

I decided to look up why children bite, and what the best way to handle the situation is.  "The literature strongly suggests that caregivers and parents not bite the child back as a punishment or to show the child how it feels to be bitten."  To me, that is obvious, but I guess that is a good & valid point to make.  Let me stress that in no way would I ever even dream of biting a child.  I found this chart that I also find helpful in a much easier "use in real life" kind of way.  I know that both children treat each other ways they would never treat their friends, which I find good and bad, but I also want to prevent this ever happening again, and being well informed is the best way for me.

*Since then, there have been no other biting incidents.*

Media

In popular media (and often times the news), nannies are not often portrayed as positive people.  The few negative ones out there inspire writers.  When I see a nanny on a TV show, I also do not like the character. Not only for who she (or he) is, but how others will judge me because of this character.

I am a pretty big fan of the show Private Practice, and Violet & Pete have a nanny for their son Lucas.  This can just as easily be described as a soap opera, and last night's show Did You Hear What Happened to Charlotte King was powerful.  After the nanny picked up Lucas, Violet was talking to Pete, and said this:  "She takes care of our son.  She keeps him safe.  We should pay her everything we've got."

It got me thinking.  Tinkerbell thinks that I don't work; but I work really hard every day.  I take care of the most prized possesions in the world.  I have structured conversations, eliciting conversations which will help the children develop.  I create situations in which they can learn.  I cook food which will help them grow physically.  I play.  I dance.  I have music playing all the time.  I adapt at the flip of a coin, and I work alongside Mom & Dad, even though it doesn't always seem that way.  I can't explain any of this to Tinkerbell, but I can say: Yes I do, I take care of you & Bill Nye so that you have more time to play when Mommy & Daddy get home from work.  And that answer works for a four year old.

I want to thank the writers of Private Practice for not only making that nanny a positive influence, but also for making the parents grateful.

Why I'm Here

I have been working as a nanny for ten months now, and I love it.  Sometimes though, I go a full day without a real adult conversation.  That can be difficult.  I'm guessing that there are other people out there who are also dealing with their own problems in this profession.  I'm looking for support, guidance and general stories.  I will not use the children's names, or the names of their friends or other family.  I also will not post pictures of them.  What I will do is talk about schedules, or discipline issues, or feel good moments, or other musings about the children and family.  This is an all-consuming job, but I love my life outside the job as well.  I will try to use support from other places as well to help me come to my own conclusions.  If I can draw my own conclusions with the help of backup, maybe I can help you too, and maybe we can all help each other.  I look forward to "meeting" all of you.